Cauldron of Fire – Part Two, a Request
I never liked the whole boil a frog experiment, now I know why.
Interesting thing happened on my way to the blog, I had a friend rip me off. I am 43, and I have never had this happen. I had a junkie stay with me once who stole my nintendo set up, about a decade ago, and when I was in my teens’ I had someone steal my army jacket out of my car. I keep my doors locked and I choose my friends with care, but when this happened, and even still, I am in a state of disbelief. The worst part of it isn’t even the theft, it is that I do not who did it, and I do not think it would be any of them, and so I am just agog with a placid shock about the whole event. I am certainly thinking about my choice of words for the blog, because wow, its like bam, I am in this strange rather tortuous position, like a frog who has this slow, heating to boiling water around him going, well, I don’t feel any different even though a part of me is dying. I have been in this rational state of mind the whole time, never losing my cool, I was pissed that night, but it really screwed my thinking. I am sure it really screwed everyone’s thinking as well, because I am not one to just blow up, and I usually have a plan of action within seconds of any cataclysm happening. It stopped me from writing the past few days, and I have sorta lost my feelers that I had out for myself. I am not withdrawn or depressed, but it has affected me more than I want it to.
If I think about it too much I get very angry, but it is because it affects not only me, but five other people who need not to be involved. More than anything, that is what makes me sad and angry about it all, is that the other people are involved, and I do not know where to point my finger. I have heart and gut feelings about it all, but the rational of it all says you have no evidence about it, so I have to think about how I want to deal with it. We were all playing a very hospitable and enjoyable game of risk in my overly hot apartment, and when I discovered the theft, it was just crazy in my head. My fiance was very upset and angry about it as well, and we have both moved on from the event, but I do not like that it affected us like that. I am still very positive and happy about everything, but it was certainly an event that affected us both, and so I do need to resolve it.
I have never asked anyone to respond to what I write, I do not think it is very good to be asking for advice for my writings when I am unsure about what I want to write as it is, but on this count, I am asking anyone who reads this to please chime in with any advice they might have. I am interested in hearing what others have done to deal with this, and maybe learn from someone what to do exactly.